Using journal entries inside the memoir has been part of the construction of this book from the very beginning. Soon after the aneurysm's rupture, I used writing to help communicate. I wrote in journals when my language was still fractured. When I shared these entries with others, especially from the earliest stages of aphasia, people often found the writing impossible to decipher. That disconnect was fascinating. The pages were somewhat difficult for me to read as well, but I had an exceptional point of entry. As the author, I knew what I was referencing. Whether I could remember what I thought at the time of the writing was a more complicated matter.
Especially after a brain injury, a sense of self is a moving target. Memory revises, consciously and unconsciously, and language changes thought. Everything is prone to the complexities of translation.
The process of including journal entries in the book is represented in three phases here: Phase One is the journal page itself. Phase Two is the transcription, which is also an editing period in which I focus on the concepts I intended to explore. Phase Three is the translation, where the experience is expanded upon – and these segments are excerpts from the memoir.
* Note: Selections provided here are pulled from an earlier draft of the manuscript. Actual text differs in the printed edition of the book.